Thursday, December 09, 2010
Everything old is new again.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Sport, the first and last refuge of the scoundrel wannabe populist politician facing an election.
"PREMIER John Brumby has thrown his support behind a bid to rename the Junction Oval in St Kilda after Shane Warne."
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Trust me, I'm somebody who needs to be trusted.
"Premier John Brumby says he needs a few weeks of community consultation before deciding which of the Commission's recommendations to embrace."
Mmmm, guess John will put Justin Madden in charge of such community consultations.
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Bishop denies WorkChoices revival.
Deputy Federal Opposition Leader Julie Bishop has rejected union claims that the Coalition is planning to bring back elements of its WorkChoices policy.
"Just because the Leader of the Budgie Smugglers has proposed sending children up the chimneys doesn't mean the return of WorkChoices. The unions are threatening a scare campaign over something that won't happen. There is absolutely NO element of choice in the coalition's policy."
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Shock horror! Dodgy characters allowed on school premises to exploit children.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Ground moose day.
Labor MP Carmel Tebbutt has been chosen as the next deputy premier of New South Wales.
Yeah Morris, but does your deputy have a moose shooting licence?
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
"Will no one rid us of these troublesome priests?"
Abbott defends ‘honourable’ Cardinal Pell.
Federal Liberal frontbencher Tony Abbott says the current scandal over the Catholic Church and Cardinal George Pell’s handling of a sexual abuse case is “unfortunate”.
Core handling? Non core handling? Hard core handling?
Perhaps the Abbott might like to nominate the Cardinal for post of Governor General? The Cardinal seems to be cut from the same "don't look too closely lest you find discomforting things" cloth as a former faith-based vice regal incumbent.
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Member hung out to dry.
Liberals ‘embarrassed’ by federal MP’s rejection
The president of the New South Wales Liberals wants party rules changed to prevent a repeat of a situation in which a factional battle saw a federal Sydney MP denied branch membership in his own seat.
Mr Morrison applied to join the Liberal Party’s Port Hacking branch after winning the seat at November’s election but he was told last week that his application had been unsuccessful.
Image source ...
... and more where that came from.
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Monday, November 26, 2007
They were done in by 'Workchoices' this election and will probably be done in by their upcoming 'Leadershipchoices' for the next few elections.
The list of possible candidates, every one a devotee of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.
Malcolm 'Have I told you I'm fraffly rich (but with the uncommon touch) and very important' Turnbull
Tony 'Some people reckon I might be late to my own funeral but that's bullshit, and I've got lots off Post-it notes on the fridge to remind me what time the ballot is on' Abbot.
Brendan 'You lot reckon Malcolm thinks he's important?! Let me show you a thing or twelve!' Nelson.
Christopher 'Trick or treated' Pyne.
Alexander 'I'm not the Messiah, not even a multi-lingual show-off I'm just a 15 denier soft nylon blueblood ... or as I say when I'm in Paree, "sang bleu" ' Downer.
Julie 'Beulah, peel me a Coco Chanel' Bishop.
My dark horse:- Wilson 'The iron bar in the barbed wire glove' Tuckey.
My darker horse (although at this stage he hasn't been returning our calls to the Cayman Islands):- Jack 'I could give those jellyback Liberal wets a lesson or two about serious snout in the trough politicking' Elliot.
My even darker horse:- Siddy 'the Svelte' Sidebottom, on secondment from the ALP.
... and then there's that perennial horse with no claim:- Brownwyn 'I coulda been, shoulda been, mighta been, oughta been a contender, I'll always throw my ring into the hat' Bishop.
UPDATE. Late heart breaking news. Apparently David Beckham has landed in Australia and speculation is rife that he might be parachuted into the vacant leadership post, however is is likely that he will face a strong challenge by a local candidate, The Drover's Dog.
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
The election we had to have. Report part the 5th.
It's hard to ignore the irrelevant in the room, that avuncular pachyderm, Joe Hockey.
Trotting (though Joe more lumbers than trots) out the figure of 70% trade union officials on the ALP front bench, Joe bleats and warns about how unrepresentative this is of the community.
On the other hand Uncle Joe doesn't see that the 64% of lawyers gracing the Coalition front bench might also be seen in some quarters as a tad unrepresentative.
Who do you trust when you're buying a used car? A picket of trade union officials or a party of the first part of lawyers? Tough call. Best buy a yearly train ticket.
And in other news we note that the Prime Minister has a soft spot in his heart for the lowly worm ...
A journalist ventured to ask about worms — the sort Howard wants banned from the TV screen during his debate with Rudd. Was he afraid of worms? "I'm not scared of the worm," he sputtered. "I love worms."
... and a quick run around with the word "WORM" in Google image search comes up with a reason for his affection for the humble helodrilus caliginosus.
Labels: Election 2007, Pox on 'em all., The Rodent
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Little John 1 and Little John 2 go in to bat for a right Pratt.
Hot on the heels of John Howard's frottage a deux with the Exclusive Brethren and the Rodent and the Smirk's banging menage a trois uglies with the Liar, Liar, Catch the Pants on Fire Sect, an unlikely and unholy trinity of Howard, Costello and Brumby has come out in support of The Church of the Latter Day Robin Hoods.
Prime Minister John Howard has defended the character of Visy owner, billionaire businessman Richard Pratt, calling him a generous Australian.
Mr Howard says his dealings with Mr Pratt have always been positive.
“I have always found Mr Pratt in my own personal dealings with him to be a very good citizen,” he said.
"Traditional marriage is one of the bedrock institutions of our society and I don't want anything to occur that further weakens it." Good citizen John Winston Howard. August 6 2003
PREMIER John Brumby has maintained support for billionaire and Carlton Football Club president Richard Pratt despite an expected record $40 million price fixing fine.
Mr Brumby today applauded the Visy cardboard king’s generosity and pledged to retain contact with the prominent businessman in the wake of his company’s cartel confession.
Yep, Tricky Dicky Pratt is truly your modern day Robbin' Hood, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. Stealing from rich people* by dint of price fixing and donating to the needy on their unbeknownst behalf.
*"The cartel deal is alleged to have affected some of the nation's biggest companies including Coca-Cola Amatil, Goodman Fielder, Cadbury Schweppes, Foster's Group, Lion Nathan and Nestle Australia, as well as thousands of small business customers. Cadbury Schweppes has already launched a claim seeking $120 million compensation for alleged overcharging on cardboard boxes and plastic bottles."
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Head of Treasury pisses into the wind onto deaf ears.
Prime Minister John Howard has announced a $40 million plan to install seatbelts in regional buses, but says it is not motivated by the upcoming election.
Mr Howard says seatbelts will be fitted in up to 375 buses a year for the next four years and he is targeting regional areas because that is where they are most needed.
“I think it’s an election practical scheme… this is a policy that starts now,” he said.
Mr Howard travelled to the Liberal-held marginal seat of Eden-Monaro in New South Wales, to unveil the plan.
Ken Henry. Head of The Treasury Chest. “2007 will test our mettle as apolitical public servants. Today, I would like to highlight two key implications of the pre-election environment,” he said. “In a pre-election period, we need to be particularly vigilant in balancing our duty to be responsive to our ministers with the need to be non-partisan, non-political, in the advice that we provide.
“Secondly, divisions will be under pressure to respond to the growing number of policy proposals leading up to the calling of an election and once the election is called. At this time, there is a greater than usual risk of the development of policy proposals that are, frankly, bad.
The Federal Government has hinted that it will soon announce new measures to help aged pensioners.
This year’s Federal Budget delivered a one-off bonus payment of $500 for seniors and from tomorrow the more generous pensions assets test will come into force.
Community Services Minister Mal Brough has today signalled there will be more to come to benefit pensioners in the lead-up to the election.
“Secondly, divisions will be under pressure to respond to the growing number of policy proposals leading up to the calling of an election and once the election is called. At this time, there is a greater than usual risk of the development of policy proposals that are, frankly, bad.
Prime Minister John Howard has used Question Time in Federal Parliament to defend the Government's planned overhaul of nursing training, saying it will allow school leavers to begin working in hospitals immediately.
Mr Howard announced on Friday that if re-elected the Government would fund 25 privately run training schools in hospitals at a cost $170 million over five years.
“Secondly, divisions will be under pressure to respond to the growing number of policy proposals leading up to the calling of an election and once the election is called. At this time, there is a greater than usual risk of the development of policy proposals that are, frankly, bad.
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
When have we heard this before?
“I have never run from a fight before, and I don’t intend to do so now” said the Prime Black Knight, Mr Hyacinth Bucket of Bennelong.
Apparently the Smirk who would be Queen (if only he had a fifth of the balls possessed by Eizabeth 1), Dolly the Florid 1 and Malcolm the Impotent Important 11 have had a serious attack of the reconsiders after having been seriously *counselled* by King Minch the Nicker 111.
Bring on Christopher Pyne, the new toddler on the block!
Labels: Pox on 'em all., The Rodent
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Television and exploitation - fancy those two words appearing in the same paragraph.
Australia’s media regulator has recommended changes that would stop television networks taking advantage of reality television contestants.
The Communications and Media Authority has now released its report, which recommends a new clause prohibiting people being depicted in a highly demeaning or exploitative manner.
Guess that means we'll be saying goodbye to "A Current Affair" and "Today Tonight".
... and on the subject of goodbyes, we see that Ray Martin, patron saint of Great Blokes and Bonzer Sheilas, is 'retiring'.
Dammit, we didn't even know he was still alive.
We shall not see his like again ... with any luck.
... and who can forget Ray's successor at 'ACA', Mike Munro and Mike's uplifting, non-demeaning, non-exploitative item about the Paxton kiddies?
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
One can only live in hope.
Oprah – just five years to live
Friday, July 20, 2007
The star is devastated after doctors tell how years of stress and yo-yo dieting have taken a deadly toll.
According to Dr David Demko, a leading expert on ageing and life expectancy, Oprah is unlikely to live to see her 60th birthday unless she takes steps to counteract negative factors in her life, including stress, personal problems and diet.
“Based on her current lifestyle and genetic risk factors, Oprah can only expect to live until she’s 58 or 59,” Dr Demko tells.
This shock diagnosis confirms fears long-held by those close to Oprah, that she’s far from the happy, healthy person she projects.
According to Dr Demko, there are a number of negative and positive factors that influence how long we live. While Oprah gains years for her charity work and spirituality, he says there are a many areas she needs to address.
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Nok Hockey:- A table-top version of hockey played with no defense and a small block in front of the goal.
"Just because we've rebranded WorkChoices with a kinder, softer and cuddlier name doesn't mean our original aproach was wrong," the Federal Minister for Workplace Relations Joe Lacrosse said today. "We're not ashamed of higher employment, we're not ashamed of higher wages, we're not ashamed of the lowest strike action since 1913, we're not ashamed of outsourcng underutilised Chilean soccer stadiums to achieve this result and were are certainly not ashamed of renaming the hotline 'Workplace Infoline' and instructing operators to change all references from "WorkChoices" to 'Sending Children up the Chimneys without a Canary in a Cage for a Half a Bowl of Gruel a Month'" he said.
(In case you trivia freaks needed to know. Nok Hockey)
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
What a pack o' burks.
Campbell quits Cabinet over Burke meeting.
Federal Human Services Minister Ian Campbell has quit Cabinet, following revelations that he held a meeting with Western Australian lobbyist Brian Burke.
Senator Campbell says he spoke to Prime Minister John Howard a short time ago and offered his resignation and Mr Howard agreed it would be in the best interest of the party for him to go.
However, Senator Campbell will remain as a backbencher.
Senator Campbell denies he did anything wrong because his meeting with Mr Burke in June last year came during a meeting with the West Australian Turf Club and he was unaware that Mr Burke would be attending.
Senator Campbell and Mr Burke discussed a racing redevelopment proposal when they met last year.
At the time, Senator Campbell was the environment minister.
The Howard Government has spent the week attacking Opposition Leader Kevin Rudd for meeting Mr Burke three times in 2005
Senator Campbell says his meeting cannot be compared to the three meetings Mr Rudd held with Mr Burke.
“I have tendered my resignation to the Prime Minister,” he said.
“There is of course no comparison between the well-planned and well-thought-out meetings with Mr Rudd, and of course my short, incidental meeting, but it is very much in the interests of the Government that I resign so there can be no confusion over this.”
Errr der Sanity Campbell, like our Kev Harry Potter Rudd is a gubbermint minister who has any sort of influence on fashioning gubbermint policy. How long was your devil suppin' spoon?
Like Pete, the Poleaxed Pretender said, "Anyone who deals with Mr. Burke is morally and politically compromised."C'mon you pollies, if you want to chat to shysters who aren't Broyan Burkah we can use our influence and arrange a cosy tête à tête with the whiter than white, cleaner than clean with added enzymes Peter Foster.
Labels: Pox on 'em all.
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
